Born the oldest of four children, Jack Theodore was set in life from the start. His parents were fairly wealthy, with his father being a plastic surgeon and his mother a career woman, and the Barnes children never wanted for anything their parents didn't give them freely. And even if it sounded like the perfect setup for later trauma, with two busy rich parents who showered their children with expensive gifts, it was anything but. Mr. and Mrs. Barnes were more than willing to give more affection than they did toys, and so it was in this stable, loving environment that Jack grew up.

Of course, as we all know, privileged white people are the actual worst. That said, Jack was a goddamn terror by the time he hit the teen years. He liked rock music, he liked girls and boys, and he liked partying. And like any spoiled rich shit-ass kid who bought designer clothes made to only give the passing appearance of Hobo Chic, he began to rebel against his family's white-collar lifestyle. He grew out his hair, smell like booze and cigarettes, and dress like a Guns N' Roses groupie. Truly, he would have made James Dean proud.

After successfully alienating everyone he had ever known, Jack forsake the easy path into any college he wanted and ran straight into trying to make a career out of some half-baked (or maybe really baked, depending on whose couch he slept on) plans to become a rockstar. When all that went to shit -- because obviously -- and too much money was wasted getting to Detroit, Michigan, he floated from one friend's good graces to another before he settled down and got a job. Flipping burgers wasn't exactly the most glamorous work in the world, but it was work nonetheless.

He didn't get back into contact with his family until his mid-twenties, when he finally decided to finish his education, and they were more gracious than he expected them to be. A free ride through college was more than a blessing for Jack, and he worked hard to pay them back in the years that followed.

He went through the typical highs and lows of life after college. Turns out a degree wasn't a guarantee for work, and he had to resort to menial jobs below his pay grade more than he was entirely happy with. He met a girl -- he met a lot of girls, actually -- and he dated his fair share. Jack moved all over the United States before he settled briefly just outside Los Angeles with the first serious girlfriend he'd had in years. They got married, they talked about having kids, and both of those things just fell apart before they even realized it. After their four-year marriage ended, he knew he needed to do something to pay the bills.

What he hadn't expected was to land a role in [80'S MOVIE HERE]. I mean, all he was doing was giving a friend a ride to the audition for said film and boom. He got cast instead.